How Good Are You Willing To Let It Get?

Amidst the pandemic — and spending less time outside — I’ve noticed how much more time I spend inside my own head. This shift made me acutely aware of a problem I had: a difficulty with feeling successful or satisfied.

There’s always something wrong.

Always.

And yet there’s also always something right, too.

To touch satisfaction, even in the midst of all the destruction and death, is a beautiful gift.

What would this mean?

To fully feel the sunlight warming your head, the snow numbing your hand and slipping to water under your grasp. Allowing the deep joy that results to emanate through your being.

To relish the laughter of a loved one,

To look at your lovely, delicious dinner table filled with food, or just maybe one bowl full,

To smell the cool perfume of dusk in the air when night falls,

And to feel — not with solemn resignation — but with sweet satisfaction,

That yes,

This is enough.

This makes me feel full.

This fills my cup.

I still miss people a lot, but I feel closer when I imagine myself writing to you.

I think this year will be a good one. And maybe tonight, the full moon will wake you up — as she did to me the night before — and you can tell her what makes you feel full.

Til next time –

This edited piece is from writing originally published in my January 2021 newsletter. If you would like to read more like this, you can subscribe here.